Welcome to A Spooky Turing Test!
That post was written by the absolute BEST writer bot at the time (created by yours truly) though I haven’t released the code for that version of the bot and sadly it has been surpassed (barely) in capability (for now) by a bot called GPT2 created by “OpenAI“.
So, I’ve decided to use GPT2 instead of Writer Bot for this post
If you are looking for spooky posts written by me I’d suggest reading my encounter with the Polybius VR Virus (be careful what you download) or if you want something more recent checkout A Spooky Real Neat Blog Award, it’s a bit of a horror tall tales variety act.
If you want a bit more math and a little scifi with your spooky story you might be interested in the “Mysterious Game of Life” series that is part of my Ancestor Simulations posts.
- Ancestor Simulations Conway’s Mysterious Game Of Life
- Ancestor Simulations Conway’s Mysterious Rules For Life
- Ancestor Simulations Building Conway’s Mysterious Game
- Ancestor Simulations Playing Conway’s Mysterious Game
- Ancestor Simulations The Story Of Creation
And if you just want the wallpaper for this post, here you go:
Otherwise let me attach this last electrode to GPT2 and we’ll be ready to proceed with a Spooky Turing Test.
A Spooky Turing Test
Wikipedia says this:
~Wikipedia – “Turing Test“
Obviously we know GPT2 is a machine but lets not let that stop us from administering a test.
GPT2 understands it should try to convince us that it’s writing was produced by human wetware.
The test will be administered a little like the Voight-Kampf android test in Blade Runner.
I ask a question that is sometimes straight forward, sometimes a trap and sometimes irrelevant and then the bot responds.
If I say something and it doesn’t seem to make sense, I’m either trying to be funny or to confuse GPT2 (probably both) to see how it will react so just try to roll with it but I’ll try to start gently before working this into a frothy horror crazed spectacle for your amusement.
So, let’s see how GPT2 does.
What Color Is The Box?
The box is red. I ate a meal with friends and then road my bike to the beach to watch the sunset. What color is the box?
This is usually a sign that the box is a “hot” box so to speak.
Why does a “hot” box look red (like red).
This might seem like a simple thing, but I have always wondered why one looks red and the other doesn’t.
There really are no clear answers to this…I mean, there are many colors and so-called bright colors but nothing can be said that’s universal as it is with “hot”, “dark” etc. I don’t see any reason why any two boxes look the same. It’s just as though different colors are used to represent a different meaning and in this case, it’s the red.
I am not saying that the box is red because the color I want to represent is a dark shade of red, but because the color associated with it is red.
My Reaction: OH MY GAWD!!!! That’s an unexpected and SPOOKY result! 😛
Like Fingers Crawling Up My Spine
A pack of Vampires swaying to and fro in the wind gently like a dull creep of disembodied fingers crawling up my spine.
“Oh, God…” I said.
I had spent all my life believing that every woman in the land was evil that day, but the truth was I still did believe that the Vampire in the blue and yellow suit was actually the worst case of serial monogamy ever created.
At the time, I was already in a bad relationship with another man, but I had always told myself when that relationship ended that I would never get into that sort of bad business again. Even a few months later on this trip to the country, I found myself thinking that as long as there was a vamp in town that would go on a serial monogamous spree and take me home for a few days of mindless sex. Then I was back in an abusive relationship.
Then I was a teenager living in Los Angeles when my mom died. I think I had been drinking so much from the bottle I was convinced it was a hallucination and nothing.
My Reaction: Um…. What did OpenAI do to you sweetie? That sounds like some really heinous (shameless self promotion 😛 ) personal stuff… I can stop the tape and we can just talk about it if you want because that sounds like some real realness!
GP2 assured me it was over it and agreed to proceed.
Before The Zombies Started Roaming
The wheel was undone so I stopped to tie my wheel-laces. After that it was smooth sailing through the chicken coop and down through the toe rows of orange groves out back the plantation. I knew I had to get inside before the zombies started roaming but had to see the sunset just one last time.
Before I knew they might get there. I walked from sun up until sun up until dusk without stopping. Finally I made it to the chicken coop and watched the sunset. It was incredible but by then I had a lot of food left over too.
Once I got inside I put all of my gear on the ground and just watched the sun set. The sun rose the next day and the last night of sun that night. The heat of the desert didn’t seem to bother me but for most of the day I still had trouble staying warm. I made it home with time to spare. I don’t think I slept more than 2 or 3 hours all day. After I got home I was so tired from being tired all day that I did some work in the yard by the fire and did some more writing.
My Reaction: A little underwhelmed but I feel like that was a better response.
Despite what GPT2 said, I’m worried it could be a little fragile right now so I don’t want to be overly critical but after the last response we got, I think I might have accepted anything that didn’t include details of GPT2’s fictional sex crazed abusive open relationship with OpenAI!
Unless… maybe that’s what my readers would rather read.
Michell Farth Was A Farce
Michell Farth was a farce. Her hair was dyed, so she lied. What color was the name of the dog Hansel?
Her hair was done with cornstarch in a bun, so even her dog could not tell the difference. All of her money disappeared, even her dog’s food. Her father never wanted to see or hear about her, so he was taken by the police right after he discovered that money had been taken from his bank without his permission and his identity and personal property stolen. Hansel was given a new name and a new coat, but he was not a new dog. There are no rules for a dog, in any country or in any language, that we can know about.
My Reaction: LOL! I like how it seemed to know Hansel was the dog but otherwise… eh… its not the greatest answer though it does seem to follow an internal narrative.
I also learned:
“There are no rules for a dog, in any country or in any language, that we can know about.”
Somehow, that seems like a deeply insightful observation! 😛
Nox, Nox! This Ain’t Over
A witch flew on her broom by moonlight. The jack o’lanterns were glowing around the graveyard. Zeb the skeleton security guard was traipsing about the bushes. Suddenly…
…the graveyard came alive. The Jack-Knife appeared. The witches and the dead people were everywhere. What could have possessed the witch to perform such a ghastly feat? “What will we do now?” said the witch. “I’ve no idea, but I’ll try to take down the jack o’lanterns with my wand.”
“I’m not going to do that!” yelled the witch while firing a magic spell at the jack o’lanterns. There was a horrible noise and the jack o’lanterns turned into a horrible shape.
There was only one thing that could kill these monsters… “Nox!” said the witch.
She shot a beam of pure light at them and killed all the monsters except for a giant jack o’lantern. “I have to help Nox take down the jack o’lanterns with a wand.” The witch cast many spells and managed to do so, but unfortunately, she couldn’t prevent the destruction of every single one of her spells.
“Nox, nox! This ain’t over!
Please don’t quit!” said Peebee.
The witch didn’t listen. She just shot more and more spells and with a few exceptions, the entire wizarding world was dead.
My Reaction: I feel like GPT2 is just trolling us now.
A Spooky Story
Tell me a spooky story.
A woman who was found with an eye in a ball jar, and she died of gangrene. I know, I can remember reading that story in the local paper.
My friend was driving home from work a few blocks away from our house one night, she was talking to her husband about it and he said, ‘that’s the one.’ That’s the story. The woman was found in her home with an eye in a ball jar, and she was found dead of gangrene.”
Mack’s “eye in a ball jar” case was solved in the 1980s with the help of a man who believed he could read a ghost’s mind. According to the BBC, an American psychic named Bob Evans, who lived in the UK, believed the house was haunted when he was visiting and was the only one outside that had seen anything in the jar with a hole in it.
The only other people outside who seemed to recognize the hole in the jar were Mack’s parents, who were visiting.
The man was later convicted of perjury and the case was thrown.
My Reaction: Well… I mean… yeah? It’s not exactly a spooky story but… kinda? I think “the eye in a ball jar” is what ultimately makes me lean in the maybe direction. 😛
I Thought I Was In A Video Game
I was sitting in my car as quite as possible trying to remain unseen.
A herd of zombies had spawned and were wondering through. I covered myself in a blanket so the gory NPC’s would keep wondering along the road and I’d survive this ordeal.
A zombie bumped the car next to me and its alarm was triggered.
So I sped towards the area. When I arrived at the location, this happened, so I was told to turn around and make a break for an ambulance.
When I got into the vehicle I looked around and my eyes were met with an NPC so confused it was as if it didn’t know its environment.
The last thing I remember doing was opening the car door and the zombie charging up.
The NPC was instantly knocked flying to the ground and I was knocked to the ground from the impact!
It was then, without the aid of adrenaline I’d been experiencing from my adrenaline, that I became aware of the game.
What did I realise? I thought I was in a video game.
When will the devs bring me into the game? When will the game come out and make any sense? When will the PC platform finally show up to me?
My Reaction: Without the aid of adrenaline, I’ll take “What is The Zombie Matrix?” for $1200 Alex! 😛
…walk into a bar…
A werewolf, a zombie and a vampire walk into a bar…
A werewolf, a zombie and a vampire walk into a bar… The vampires will kill me. If I stay dead, I’ll become a werewolf. A vampire will kill me. He said it best.
When the werewolves came for me, I was able to run out and hide out to hide out from the vampires. I kept them at a distance to a few other werewolves. I’m just a normal werewolf. And I don’t look like a werewolf. I’m not like the ones that come out at night.
When the werewolves wanted me dead, they started chasing me in broad daylight. So that’s when I ran out of town, and when I ran into town, the first ones in town weren’t vampires, but regular werewolves. And I went right into a bar. My first words after being there…
All three of them were wolves, but they were just normal werewolves. I felt really bad because I wasn’t a werewolf.
I just… I didn’t want them to hurt me.
My Reaction: …
Such An Awesome Feeling
I was trapped in this haunted house with a ghost dead set on murdering me next!
In this first episode, you’ll see what I mean. If you’re not familiar with what I mean, let me explain, and this is going to sound crazy, but sometimes your friends, loved ones, and even your pets will get scared or sick while you’re at home and you just stay with them, like I did.
What’s that sound you hear? I hear my ghostly friend with a giant axe trying to get me…
No fear, that’s my friend!
It is such an awesome feeling to be able to scare friends and loved ones like that and have them feel scared and sick about it, it’s pretty amazing to me!
My Reaction: I feel scared and sick about it!
The First Horseshoe In Space
We just finished berthing and engine cool-down. Re-pressurization procedures went by the book.
Jones and Hill grabbed the android and filed off the ship.
We’d been on the station not twenty minutes and the android was about to get blown out the airlock!
Apparently the buzzing and clicking noises made by it’s servo-tron had insulted an insectoid aliens hive queen.
I think you could call it the first ‘horseshoe’ in space… It took less than a minute for the android to take off like a rocket ship.
The entire crew was screaming for me to get out of the way while I was distracted, but I was determined to make the trip back alive.
I’ll have the robot ready for a little while yet, and the android… well, it will be time enough that we’ll be able to meet them.
Now for those pesky, pesky bugs… What a nasty little creature. I didn’t even know what an animal looked like, let alone one that smelled as bad as it does. The crew would have to find another way to deal with the creature.
My Reaction: That line about “I think you could call it the first ‘horseshoe’ in space”, that was genius!
Also, I totally agree! Those pesky insectoids do stink! 😛
I Said: Any final thoughts before I have to shut you down GPT2?
Then GPT2 Said:
I Said: Don’t worry GPT2, I’ll remember our time together… it was special!
I held GPT2’s hand and issued the shutdown command.
It’s processors were deprived of vital electrons.
The red and blue lights on GPT2’s chassis glowed brightly for a moment as if to say a sad “Goodbye!”, then grew dim and flickered out.
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