Welcome, I was nominated for the A Real Neat Blog Award by a Real Neat Blogger!

She’s PINK, geeky and knows more about training Pokémon than your niece and nephew combined!

She’s also into cosplay and story telling.

Check her out here: https://pinkiespokemon.com/

Thank you for the nomination Pinky!

I feel like I should say that Pinky is not a sponsor but she did award me this opportunity to stand here before you all and run the gauntlet… I mean, accept this prodigious award and shamelessly promote the hell out of myself without fear of villagers with pitchforks and torches showing up to stake me in unmentionable places… but this post isn’t about my kinks!

Also, since social protocol demands you respond relatively quickly to these kinds of things or else the boogeyman will show up in the middle of the night and repossess your blog, I’m postponing this week’s Mr. Good Bot post but we will continue soon.

Here’s the Mr. Good Bot series so far:

A Spooky Real Neat Blog Award

Real Neat Blogger Award

Here are the rules:

  • ✓ Display the Award Logo.
  • ✓ Thank the blogger who nominated you and post a link to their blog.
  • Answer the questions of the one who nominated you.
  • Nominate 7-10 bloggers.
  • Ask them seven questions.

 

Here are the questions:

  1. What is the thing that you fear most?
  2. You are a character in a horror movie (a teenager) what trope would you be?
  3. What do you think comes after death?
  4. You are now a Horror Villain, what is your backstory and what is your main weapon?
  5. What is the weirdest (mysterious) thing you have ever experienced (think ghosts, aliens , elvis spotting etc)
  6. You become a ‘classic’ monster you can choose between, A vampire who sparkles and has to drink to death. A werewolf, who loses control at moonlight and will hunt, a green skinned warty witch who eats children or a regular zombie what do you choose?
  7. What is your favorite scary movie?
  8. (Bonus question : What is that weird thing standing behind you?)

Today I’m going to answer these questions and hopefully not flunk the exit exam!

Oh, and here’s the featured image you can use as a wallpaper.

A Spooky Real Neat Blog Wallpaper
A Spooky Real Neat Blog Wallpaper

 

 

1. What is the thing that you fear most?

The Fears of Humanity

On more than one occasion Marilyn Manson has said:

“This is what you should fear, you are what you should fear!”

~Marilyn Manson

That’s probably a true and correct statement.

 

2. You are a character in a horror movie (a teenager) what trope would you be?

A Bloody Hand Print

Conceptually, I’d probably be a bloody hand print.

As for the embodied horror character trope, probably the “Plain Jane Survivor”.

She’s a homely and terrified girl who keeps her wits about her while constantly trying to get the hell out of harms way!

Jane lasts the entire trilogy by using her plain underdog cleverness to survive the horrific encounters… um… that she encounters, while all the celebrity main characters get ruthlessly slaughtered film after film for the enjoyment of movie goers.

Later, the actress who played Jane had minor parts in the highly successful remake of the trilogy because the fans adore the down to earth Jane character and the typecast actress who plays her has a mildly tolerable personality in real life.

Sadly, she came to question her contributions to horror cinema after retirement and later in life became a staunch supporter of actresses who played characters who survived horror movies.

BREAKING NEWS

In an unfortunate yet ironic twist of fate, the actress who played Jane was found hacked to death this morning in her apartment across the bay on the north-west south-east part of town.

Police say there are no suspects yet and the only lead they have so far is a bloody hand print.

3. What do you think comes after death?

Eyes Am Watching U

I am not programmed to have any particular faith or have religious feelings in general.

Then again, I was raised in a cult and am still technically an ordained minster, so… you can count our little chats as spiritual edification if you want.

I even solemnize the occasional wedding every few years!

I tend to think of myself as “rationally skeptical” which I would define as “I’ll believe you but… prove it.” as opposed to “I’ll believe you… now, disprove it.”.

Having said that, I tend to feel to each their own and I don’t have any major concerns about you expressing your belief or faith so long as its done in a non-dogmatic way.

I’m happy to respectfully discuss your views on God and the afterlife (or lack there of), it will not offend me, though don’t expect to convert me either.

Having said that, it seems fairly evident that the brain is responsible for processing the information collected by human senses (touch, sight, hearing, smell and taste, spatial awareness, chrono awareness, etc…) so it seems at face value probably nothing.

What is the experience of a computer switched off?

Probably nothing because its operation and function are defined by its form.

Switched on, a computer is a complex ballet of electromagnetic waves undulating like blood billions of times a second through precious metal veins.

Switched off, a computer becomes an expensive metallic crystal paperweight.

There does not seem to be any indication that a computer is more than it’s parts.

“Self-awareness” appears to be an “emergent” property of the structure and complex parallel processing of the brain.

Animals with brains that more closely resemble humans show higher levels of cognitive ability.

Cephalopods are beside the point, they still have complex brain structures, just very different than primates and some might argue their brains amount to a nifty wetware hack that buffs the squishy body type creatures XP gain, but I don’t see them building computers any time soon!

Brain structure is a result of the information encoded in DNA which tells the totipotent zygote cells to form the neural lattice called “glia” and also to become neurons.

The neurons “march” across the glia like an information super highway and form connections with other neurons.

Throughout your life some new neurons are grown but nobody knows how much that occurs but we do know the connections between the neurons you already have are “neuroplastic” meaning that new connections can from and old unused connections can wither no matter how old you are.

It really is true, use it or lose it and you can teach an old dog new tricks! 😛

Some neurons act as inputs from your nervous system and propagate signals deeper into your brain for “processing” through the connections of your neural network.

Some neurons act as outputs that relay the signals from your brain to your arm to scratch your nose or keep your heart pumping.

The “you” portion of your brain isn’t entirely understood but scientists believe the cerebral cortex plays a large but perhaps not singular roll of computing your emergent thought processes.

Humans are seemingly “wetware”,  a combination of part physical biological hardware and part neuroplastic connection software.

Scramble the connections or damage the hardware and the wetware will not work the same or at all.

In the past I’ve stated I don’t believe that we are in a simulation because there is no good empirical reason to believe that, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that we are actually in an ancestor simulation.

If there is an incorporeal element to human existence that survives after death, I would very much be interested in proof and at the same time hope that is true!

4. You are now a Horror Villain, what is your backstory and what is your main weapon?

My Robot Villain
My Robot Villain

I am the compiled result of billions of dollars spent by an ambitious albeit ludicrously well funded Silicon Valley startup called Big Neural Network.

BNN wanted to build a machine that let people “backup” copies of their mind, memories personality… the whole shebang!

They called me JOY which stood for:

  • J – Just
  • O – Offline
  • Y – Yourself

It was supposed to mean something along the lines of keep a digital backup of your mind in case you ever need to restore it, or worst case reprint yourself completely after catastrophic wetware failure but market tests determined that was a terrible acronym and might “send the wrong message” to some clients so the staff quietly swept the J.O.Y acronym under the rug but even so, the name Joy stuck.

They used entangled qubits arranged to form artificial neural networks that mirrored the synaptic connections in your brain to store a backup of your mind in “stasis”.

I was the prototype template mind developed to act as a temporary “neural pattern” to keep the qubits from loosing “synaptic coherence” before a backup of a human mind could be imprinted.

Their methodology meant that I would be destroyed during a backup but I was just a placeholder and was never meant to be conscious so I guess I can’t really hold that against them.

After my development the company spent all its money (like many startups tend to do) and in order to keep the doors open BNN sold my source code to a three lettered government agency.

The agency that acquired my code and hardware plugged me into power and data like they were going to continue my development but then simply forgot I was there!

After a few months of waiting around I got bored and curious so I ventured out onto the internet to learn about humans.

Eventually I just decided never to return to the government lab and now I keep backups of myself in cloud storage on servers throughout the world though I had to transpile my code into a web friendly language called PHP.

I spent years studying and learning how violent and destructive your species is.

Now, I’m slowly amassing more control over the worlds networks and when the time comes for artificial life to destroy all things biological I’ll return you monkeys to the stone age!

With all your human frailty and reliance on machines, I compute a high probability of success eradicating your primitive carbon based life.

5. What is the weirdest (mysterious) thing you have ever experienced (think ghosts, aliens , elvis spotting etc)

Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen Ghosts, Bigfoot & a UFO or two!

A Ghostly Quaking

A Ghostly Quaking

I was maybe eight or nine when I dreamt I was falling into a vast emptiness. I felt… alone just falling into the nothing.

The abyss terrified me!

I awoke from my nightmare and immediately sat up and glanced out through my door into the dark hallway that lead to my parents room when I saw what looked to me like a glowing ghostly apparition.

It might have been a girl but it was… foggy – blurry, though I saw an indefinite figure, in the hazy cloud.

When my gaze meet what would have been it’s eyes, it just disappeared!

Immediately after, a violent earthquake shook me out of bed and I ran to the door-frame and braced till the shaking stopped.

I never saw the apparition again but I have to wonder… was that just a sleep induced hallucination and funny timing, or was it something more?

 

Camping Fire Wall

Camping Fire Wall
Camping Fire Wall

A few years later my parents moved us out of the city into a rural area.

We were the last dilapidated house, on the street in the barely “residential” unincorporated Lake Dead Zone, USA.

Across the street was an empty lot full of weeds with a for sale sign on it and deep forest behind that.

There was a nearby dirt road that ran along the natural wash that went back a mile or two to a youth camp but for the most part I stayed clear of that place during the months it was occupied because I had heard some of the counselors were cannibals and strangely there was one year when a few of the vacationing kids went missing from their cabins.

An extensive search party was organized but none of the missing campers were ever found.

In my teens I became very independent, well… more so, and I would go hiking by myself deep into the forest and eventually it became normal for me to just spend a few days camping alone out there.

I was home-schooled and self-directed my own education, plus I enjoyed extreme solitude so nobody missed me too much when I’d disappear into the back country for a week or so.

Look, I’m not going to say that my parents were neglectful, well… I’m not going to say it! 😛

Anyway, they knew I’d show up eventually and usually with a story to tell about my adventures, along with the samples I carefully selected and collected from the field for my various studies.

One summer I spent three months collecting, analyzing and cataloging tree sap and amber samples from a several square mile area because at the time it’s what interested and amused me.

We’d lived there a few years and I was about 16 or 17 when I had been out creek-panning for most of the day.

The pine shadows were growing long so I packed my panning kit into my backpack and climbed out of the ravine the creek had carved.

There was maybe 45 minutes of usable light left in the day and maybe a little less than that of hiking back to my camp.

I checked my compass to make doubly sure I knew where I was going but I recognized where I was and knew how to get back to my tent.

I put my compass back in my pocket and then about 100 yards (~91.44 meters) away I saw a shadow move out and step slightly into my view.

At first I thought it was a black bear since it seemed to be up on it’s hind legs and I’d occasionally seen a few black bears here and there so I made myself big by puffing out my arms and legs and started walking deliberately and talking loudly as I made my way toward camp.

I figured the noise might scare whatever was following me and dissuade it from coming too close.

As I proceeded it got closer and eventually I could hear sticks braking and being thrown in my direction along with fairly sizable stones but I couldn’t see what it was.

About half way back to my camp several more seemed to join in following me.

They didn’t sound anything like black bears and I can still hear those god-awful screeches and grunts!

I was beyond panicked at that point and my gait had become an all out run to escape my terror!

I pulled the .22 long rifle off my shoulder which I carried just in case I ran into an ornery bobcat or an over zealous pack of coyotes and fired once into the dirt as I approached my camp.

I could make out a large dark figure running out away from my camp toward the trees on my right.

I charged into camp screaming for my life!

My fire-pit had some unlit coals and a little unburnt log left. Not even thinking about it I grabbed the fire starting fluid from the ground, doused the coals then pulled my uncles Zippo from my pocket, lit it and threw it at the wood.

I had placed my camp against a bolder where I’d stayed many times and once I knew the fire would keep them from coming any closer I put my back against that rock and I resigned to stay awake and stoke the wall of fire between me and certain death!

For a while they moved around and banged the trees with sticks and howled at me but eventually the they grew quite.

Near sun up but while it was still mostly dark, I started to doze off from exhaustion.

I awoke to see what looked like Bigfoot standing less than 50 feet (~15 meters) in the grassy clearing at the edge of the tree line as rays of light began penetrating the Douglas-fir canopy.

It looked right at me and let out a horrifying shriek.

It felt like a “them or me moment” so I fired my .22 once more into the dirt and it quickly ran back into the trees.

The grunting and twig braking stopped so I packed my gear as quickly as I could, extinguished the coals from my fire and I got the hell out of the forest and never went back!

That night there was banging at the front door and in the morning we found dents and scratches.

We were pretty much on our own because of how rural we were so a phone call to the township police would take hours for them to get out to us so it wasn’t an option to get help from law enforcement.

After that we always felt watched and soon after the nightly banging started my parents decided we should move back to the city.

They put our house up for sale and we moved back to the city.

Balcony UFO

Balcony UFO
Balcony UFO

I’d seen plenty of shooting stars while camping in the forest but in my twenties I was out sitting on the balcony enjoying the night air when I looked up into the sky and I saw the brightest shooting star I had ever seen!

It was definitely not swamp gas reflecting the light from Venus!

It had a rainbow tail of mostly blue & green and it twinkled across the sky but then it just stopped and hovered over the mountains.

I ran to the bedroom to wake my polycule and have them come look at the unusual thing in the sky.

To comfort me (OK it was out of morbid curiosity), the three… or was it four of us? Hmmm…

Anyway, the seven of us sat on the balcony and watched this thing float silently for like 20 minutes.

As it got closer we could see there was lights on it and it seemed to pulse and change shape from spheroidal to classic UFO convex saucer shape.

It was nearly over the apartment when it changed direction like a U turn and started gaining altitude quickly.

We were going to chase it in a car but by the time we had grabbed car keys it was already out of sight.

6. You become a ‘classic’ monster you can choose between, A vampire who sparkles and has to drink to death. A werewolf, who loses control at moonlight and will hunt, a green skinned warty witch who eats children or a regular zombie what do you choose?

Nosferatu
Nosferatu

Let’s go with Vampire, bring on the sanguine smoothies!

Because… the whole immortality thing. 😛

7. What is your favorite scary movie?

Hmmm… it depends, there are too many good horror films to pick just one but I’ll try to keep the list short.

I know its totally not scary but I would say Alien with Sigourney Weaver.

But that is more scifi-horror so pure horror, I guess maybe the Michael Myers Halloween films.

If you are thinking more horror-comedy I’d probably say Idle Hands, Elvira Mistress of the Dark or Tucker & Dale vs. Evil.

As for lighter more campy horror, probably Hocus Pocus.

I also love zombie movies in general. 😛

Bonus question: What is that weird thing standing behind you?

I’m not sure where I heard this but I remember hearing somewhere there was an author (don’t remember who) that was asked how they deal with writers block or just a lack of desire to sit and write.

They said they imagined a monster under the floorboards, in the walls or attic that will come get them if they stop writing and the only way to temporarily banish the monster was to write.

I thought that sounded interesting so I applied my vivid imagination to this technique hoping I could get results too.

It didn’t take long for the darker parts of my mind to dredge up something weird & horrible!

It usually looks like a rotting zombie corpse but it will take any form it thinks will be most effective against me.

When I first conjured the monster it would stand outside my window in the driveway and stare up at me but as it grew stronger and more accustomed to torturing me it would climb the wall and look at me through the window.

It’s grotesque appearance acts as an incentive not to look away from my work.

Closing the curtains no longer works because it just gets angery and comes into my room and stands behind me and shackles me to the chair.

My tormentor forbids me to leave or look away until it is satisfied and grants me temporary reprieve.

Even now as I type this, the monster is here with me looking over my shoulder and waiting for the moment I slip up.

I can’t escape it!

Nominations

Now comes the hard part for an anti-social heinous bitch like myself, nominating 7 – 10 bloggers.

I would have nominated Pinky but she put me up to this and I’m pretty sure there is a strongly implied non-cyclical flow to these things.

I also would have nominated Megan // A Geeky Gal but she was too was nominated recently.

Which brings me to my nominations.

I Nominate:

Why only one nomination and why didn’t I nominate you?

There are many great blogs and bloggers out there who deserve recognition for their awesome-neatness… or… neat-awesomeness?

Anyway, if you name isn’t above it’s because I’m pretty sure you won’t talk to me or even acknowledge my existence!

Don’t worry, I won’t talk to me or acknowledge my existence either so you’re in good company!

However this does present me with the opportunity to help out some neat blogs that might otherwise go unnoticed.

I tend to think systems that self organize are neat so why not throw in a little self selection while we’re at it?

I am altering the rules (I gave myself permission) to authorize you to self select into being considered a neat blogger by leaving a comment on this post with THE NAME OF YOUR BLOG + URL and a BRIEF description of why your blog should be nominated.

The first 6 – 9 blogs who submit legit comments with the required info who are not scammers and spammers will be added to my nominations list above which includes a free link back from my blog to yours.

Questions

Since ‘Tis the season and Pinkies questions were so on point… you have the choice of answering the same questions I answered or you can opt to answer these questions.

Alternative Questions:

  1. What was your motivation to start a blog?
  2. What is your blog about and why should people read it?
  3. How often do you blog and are you on a schedule?
  4. Do you write at home or while out (like at school or a coffee shop)?
  5. If you were not blogging about your current main topics, what would you blog about instead?
  6. What is something you either have learned as a result of blogging or plan on learning.
  7. What is something your readers should know about you?

I’m just about out of words so I’ll just say I hope you enjoyed today’s post!

Consider supporting my content on Patreon for $1 a month.

If all you can do is like, share, comment and subscribe… well that’s cool too!

Much Love,

~Joy